Friday, November 21, 2014

Building a Better Feminist part 1

In internet terms of attention span... a LONG time ago, before the internet was even a "thing", a meeting of the Evil Overlords of the Illuminati Patriarchy was called to order for the purpose of devising a better playbook for effecting social change. I was fortunate enough to be in attendance and will share a few of my notes. I wish I could share the final and approved draft, but that would probably cost me my Evil Overlord membership card, but remember... I am from the internet and I am here to HELP!

The first note I have is

* Cement your position

This will be hard to accept, but it simply has to be done ladies. Your claim is to be fighting for "equality", yet 99% of what I see is Radical Feminism advocating for something altogether different. But for the sake of discussion, let's pretend that we are at the bargaining table for equality for a while and examine who you are bringing to the party.

Exactly what do lesbians have to offer as bargaining power with the Evil Overlords? I mean we ARE talking about a meeting of the minds between hetero males and women who hate them. They have no power here, why are you allowing them to ride your coattails? It's time to drop the dead weight equality seekers. While the lesbian constituency may be quite vocal, they seriously have nothing to bargain with other than simply shutting the hell up. All they are providing to your quest for equality is vitriolic to begin with. Their war is with the church and puritanical views on sex. They need to get their own house in order about their lesbian challenge before muddying the waters of you seeking your equality.

While we are trimming fat, let's talk about another group tagging along with you to the party they have no business attending... Feminist Champion Males. They have incompatible equipment to discuss equality with the Evil Overlords. Clearly they aren't a member of the patriarchy in good standing or they would be on our side of the table, right? At the risk of digression, I think they espouse these beliefs to try and appear as kinder/gentler/evolved males... so you will sleep with them. **sigh** Yes... it's true... even the double agents have a sex agenda! Did you ever stop to think that this is all of your own fault?!?!? Imagine if sex with women was just.... horribly bad.... we would just donate to procreate... but nooooooo.... you have to make it all magic , breathtaking, and special! You did this to yourselves! But I digress... drop these gentlesirs from your ranks and make some headway for a change because their problem with the Evil Overlords is much less about equality and more about how much they hate themselves. Send them packing to a drum circle or something and wish them luck on getting their priorities straight before leeching on to another cause like equality.

Speaking of cutting weight to pick up speed... cut the gays too. They are loud, obnoxious, and pretty unified in being against "organizations that don't include parades". Quite honestly.... we just don't have anything to trade with them. They have nothing we want, we have nothing they want. Why are you allowing them to disrupt your message of equality? Especially knowing that from the Evil Overlord point of view, they have absolutely ZERO to offer us outside of REALLY expensive haircuts, optimal placement of home furnishings, and acting as a sounding board for females in crisis.  
By the same ruler, measure what the trans community brings to the table. Again, there is no real common ground between hetero males and..... whateverthehell they are THIS week. We are the Evil Overlords, we deal with quantifiable things, for instance... male and female have interlocking parts so it was easy for the Evil Overlords to understand, we even managed to deal with the variables of men/men and women/women after some time.... but mtf, ftm, cis, het, wolfkin-vampire-genderfluid? Yeah... you need to stop allowing others to obfuscate your message of equality. I mean.. what are you going to align yourself with next? Eaglekin-Cis-NonBinary-Cheesecakes? They sincerely have more than enough struggles of their own to deal with internally, why are you allowing them amongst you as seekers of equality when they bring nothing but SHITLORD SCUM as a rallying cry?

Just because you are the "fairer sex" and can look around and see other members of other groups who are fighting their own war of acceptance, it doesn't mean you should align yourselves with them and co-opt each others causes. You can show up to the bargaining table with a pure and crystal clear glass of water for a logical cause of equality for females. Or you can show up with some cloudy and foul smelling runoff from a meat processing nuclear plant of chemical separation processes.

We are The Evil Overlords of The Illuminati Patriarchy... bring us a clear problem and a clear resolution and logic will prevail. Would you bargain away something like equality to a group that can't even keep it's membership in line with it's goals?



If you want equality, you are going to have to cement that as your position.

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